I told a chemistry joke once…
There was no reaction.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
Because they’re cheaper than day rates!
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends argon.
What’s a chemist’s favorite type of dog?
A lab.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.
What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe.
Why can’t you trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
What’s a chemist’s favorite pickup line?
“Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.”
Why did the chemist keep his Nobel Prize medal in the freezer?
Because he wanted a cool reaction.
Why did the physicist break up with the biologist?
There was no chemistry.
What’s a chemist’s favorite game?
Periodic Table Tennis.
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro’s number!
What do you call a clown who’s a chemist?
Silly-con dioxide.
Why did the electron stay home from school?
It was feeling a little negative.
What did the beaker say to the graduated cylinder?
“You’re overqualified.”
Why are chemists excellent at solving problems?
They always have a solution.
What’s a chemist’s favorite type of music?
Heavy metal.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
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